Whatever kinds of fear be suggested to us other than reverent fear, though they may appear disguised as holiness, they are not…; and this is how they can be recognised apart. The fear that makes us hastily to flee from everything that is not good, and to fall onto our Lord’s breast, as the child into the mother’s arms, with all our intention and with all our mind, knowing our feebleness and our great need, knowing His everlasting goodness and His blessed love, seeking only in Him for salvation, cleaving to Him with faithful trust, that fear which leads us in this direction is gentle and gracious and good and true; and all that is opposed to this is either wrong or mixed with wrong. So this is the remedy, to recognise them both and to refuse the wrong; for the natural attribute of fear that we have in this life by the grace-giving operation of the Holy Spirit will be the same in heaven before God, gentle, courteous, most sweet; and thus in love we shall be familiar and close to God, and in fear we shall be gentle and courteous to God, and both…in the same way.
I am now out of retreat and resuming my journey with Julian once more.
And when we fall, quickly He raises us up with His loving embrace and His gracious touch. And when we are srenghtened by His sweet working, then we willingly choose Him by His grace, that we shall be His servants and His lovers, constantly and forever…And our falling is not evidence of divine negligence or lack of love. For we need to fall, and we need to see it; for if we did not fall we should not know how feeble and how wretched we are in ourselves, nor, too, should we know so completely the wonderful love of our Creator…And by the experience of this falling we shall have a great and marvellous knowledge of love in God without end; for enduring and marvellous is that love which cannot and will not be broken because of offences…[Therefore] let us meekly recognise our weakness, knowing that we cannot stand for the twinkling of an eye except with the protection of grace, and let us reverently cling to God, trusting only in Him.
Reading: Ephesians 2: 8-9
But because of our own inconsistancy, we often fall in to sin. [Then] the prompting of our enemy …and our own folly and blindness…say: You know well that you are a wretch, a sinner and also unfaithful…Often you promise our Lord that you will do better, and then you fall again into the same state, especially into sloth and wasting of time, for that, as I see it, is the beginning of sin. And this makes [us] afraid to appear before our courteous Lord. Thus it is our enemy who wants to retard us with his false suggestions of fear about our wretchedness…For it is his purpose to make us so depressed and sad in this matter that we should forget the blessed contemplation of our everlasting friend…So this is the remedy, that we aknowledge our wretchedness and flee to our Lord; for always, the more abased we are, the more profitable it is for us to touch him.
Reading: Revelation 12: 10c – 11a
Psalm 127: 2
Often when our falling and our wretchedness are shown to us, we are so…greatly ashamed of ourselves that we scarcely know where we can put ourselves. But then our courteous Mother does not wish us to flee away, for nothing would be less pleasing to Him; but He then wants us to behave like a child. For when it is distressed and frightened, it runs quickly to its mother; and if it can do no more, it calls to its mother for help with all its might. So He wants us [to cry out]: My kind Mother, my gracious Mother , my beloved Mother, have mercy on me. I have made myself filthy and unlike you, and I may not and cannot make it right except with your help and grace…For the flood of mercy which is His dear blood and precious water is plentiful to make us fair and clean…The sweet gracious hands of our Mother are ready and diligent about us….It is His office to save us, it is His glory to do it, and it is His will that we know it; for He wants us to love Him sweetly and trust in Him meekly and greatly.
Reading: Luke 13: 34b
Psalm 34: 5-6
Having had an unplanned rest from blogging to allow me to focus on getting school ready for a complete return in September, here I am again, carrying on with my journey with Julian and picking up my usual routine once more.
The mother can give her child to suck of her milk, but our precious Mother Jesus can feed us with Himself, and does, most courteously and most tenderly, with the blessed sacrament, which is the precious food of true life; and with all the sweet sacraments He sustains us most mercifully and graciously…[And He says]: All the health and life of the sacraments, all the power and the grace of my Word, all the goodness which is ordained in the Holy Church for you, I am He…The mother can lay her child tenderly to her breast, but our tender Mother Jesus can lead us easily into His blessed breast through His sweet open side, and show us there a part of the Godhead and of the joys of heaven, with inner ceratinty of endless bliss. And that He revealed [in saying]: “See how I love you!” This fair lovely word “mother” is so sweet and so kind in itself that it cannot truly be said of anyone or to anyone except of Him and to Him who is the true Mother of life and of all things.
Reading: 1 Peter 2:2
Psalm 34: 8
Jesus Christ, who opposes good to evil is our true Mother. We have our being from Him, where the foundation of motherhood begins….We know that all our mothers bear us for pain and for death….but our true Mother Jesus…alone bears us for joy and for endless life. blessed may He be. So He carries us within Him in love and travail, until the full time when He wanted to suffer the sharpest thorns and cruel pains…and at the last He died. And when He had finished, and had so borne us for bliss, still all this could not satisfy His wonderful love…To the property of motherhood belong nature, love, wisdom and knowledge, and this is God. For though it may be that our bodily bringing to birth is only little, humble and simple in comparison with our spiritual bringing to birth, still it is He who does it in the creatures by whom it is done…And in our spiritual bringing to birth He uses more tenderness, without any comparison, in protecting us…And from this sweet and gentle operation He will neither cease or desist, until all His beloved children are born and brought to birth.
Reading: John 19: 33-34
I’ve managed to catch up on my journey again, and so I carry on.
I contemplated the work of all the blessed Trinity, in which contemplation I saw and understood these three properties; the property of the fatherhood, and the property of the motherhood and the property of the Lordship in one God…As to the first I saw and understood that the high might of the Trinity is our Father, and the deep wisdom of the Trinity is our Mother, and the great love of the Trinity is our Lord; and all these we have in nature and in our substantial creation…As truly as God is our Father, so truly is God our Mother, and He revealed that in everything…I understand three ways of contemplating motherhood in God. The first is the foundation of our nature’s creation; the second is His taking of our nature, where the motherhood of grace begins; the third is the motherhood at work. And in that, by the same grace, everything is penetrated, in length and in breadth, in height and in depth without end; and it is all one love.
Reading: Ephesians 3: 18-19
I’m falling a bit behind on my journey again so I put this here with optimism and the intention to catch up again.
Though my Lord revealed to me that I…[will] sin, by me is understood everyone. And in this I conceived a gentle fear, and in answer to this our Lord said: I protect you very safely. This word was said with more love and assurance of protection for my soul than I can or may tell. For just as it was first revealed to me that I should sin, so was consolation revealed – assurance of protection for all my fellow Christians. What can make me love my fellow Christians more than to see in God that He loves all who will be saved, all of them as if it were one soul? For we cannot be blessedly saved until we are truly in peace and love, for that is our salvation. [There we will be] wholly contented with God and with all His works and with all His judgements, and loving and content with ourselves and with our fellow Christians and with everything which God loves, as is pleasing to love. And God’s goodness does this in us.
Reading: John 17:22-23
Psalm 15: 5-6, 11
And in this He revealed the delight that He has in the creation of [our] soul; for as well as the Father could ceate a creature and as well as the Son could create a creature, so well did the Holy Spirit want our spirit to be created, and so it was done. And therefore the blessed Trinity rejoices without end in the creation of [our] soul, for it saw without beginning what would delight it without end…For I saw in the same revelation that if the blessed Trinity could have created [our] soul any better, any fairer, any nobler than it was created, the Tinity would not have been fully pleased with the creation of our [soul]. But because it made our [soul] as beautiful, as good, as precious a creature as it could make, therefore the blessed Trinity is fully pleased without end in the creation of [our] soul. For our soul sits in God in true rest, and our soul stands in God in sure strength, and our soul is naturally rooted in God in endless love.