The diary entries are extracts from my spiritual journey, going back about twenty years.
No, I tell you this because I was told to tell it – by what you might call ‘ a higher authority’ – and truth is, the thought of how to tell it has taxed me for so many years.Miss Garnet’s Angel, Sally Vickers
I feel really tired and stressed at the moment. I’ve got to watch that line. I meditated tonight (the Hebrews flight from Egypt), and I’ve got to do more of that. It is not so deep as when I’m on retreat, and God does not seem as real or as present when I’m here and busy in my life, but it does help me. It grounds me and keeps me calm and purposeful. I guess I don’t feel so frustrated because as a result of tonight’s prayer, I understand that I might be changing my methods – getting out of Egypt in a night, but I can’t change other’s experience and attitude overnight. I have to keep chipping away at it and persevering. Ephraim might be a well-trained heifer, but even if she wants to get out of the rut and plough a different furrow, the plough might not want to go, and if she is to have her way – which is God’s way if it is putting the meaning back into what she is doing – then some struggling, effort and not giving up is required!
I was weary travelling out of Egypt tonight, my feet and back were sore and although there was a crowd, I was alone and lonely. There was some respite in the manna – and a light-hearted feeling of joyfulness and wanting to dance. I went to the well briefly – it was my oasis – and there was some manna on a plate as well as the bitter wine. JC was there too, and I had a much-needed rest.
Tomorrow I will persevere!