Diary of a Sunflower: 29 July, Year 4

The diary entries are extracts from my spiritual journey, going back about twenty years.

No, I tell you this because I was told to tell it – by what you might call ‘ a higher authority’ – and truth is, the thought of how to tell it has taxed me for so many years.

Miss Garnet’s Angel, Sally Vickers

Things have changed a bit – there has been a change of perspective on both sides. He has given up smoking dope, and I believe he is serious about it this time. He is starting to work on himself. I am also trying to shift my position in the way I relate to him by using my Al Anon program. We’ll see, but I am hopeful that we really so have a future together. We both have to change really. 

At the moment we are in Dhanakosa, a Buddhist retreat centre in Scotland. There is a curious marriage of traditional Scottish and this Eastern Buddhist style. The images are quite confusing to me. We did a meditation tonight and it wasn’t so different from stuff I’ve experienced before – just feeling your body and relaxing. Not the same as the Ignatian imaginative prayer. 

I saw Aslan in my meditation: C.S. Lewis’ lion representation of Christ. Appropriate, since I’d perceived this to be a little bit like Daniel in the lion’s den – need to be true to my faith. I must find a harmony with Bhudda which is respectful, but he is not my God.  

Alsan pressed His face against mine and I stroked his ears. He us brave, I am brave. I must have the heart of a lion (big) to keep it open. I rode on His back and He ran – fast. It took my breath away. 

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