Diary of a Sunflower: 2 August, Year 4

The diary entries are extracts from my spiritual journey, going back about twenty years.

No, I tell you this because I was told to tell it – by what you might call ‘ a higher authority’ – and truth is, the thought of how to tell it has taxed me for so many years.

Miss Garnet’s Angel, Sally Vickers

Interesting times! I’m settling down into the retreat and I’m meeting some impressive people. It’s both stimulating and quietening at the same time. The scenery of course helps. I love the mountains and the way the mist caresses the top of them in the morning. 

I saw Him there this morning, singing in the mountains and dancing in the sky. 

From one of my own poems.

The Meditation guide is a wise man. His name means the joy that springs up from deep inside. It suits him. I think, I feel, that he is someone I can talk to and ask questions of. He has a deep serenity and I think wisdom. He reminds me of Fr. James. The meditation practices I have learned are interesting and useful. I reckon I can use them as a basic, a staple or in-between the Jesuit way of prayer – maybe even as a light relief from it! Hmmm…that’s not quite what I mean. Sometimes, it’s hard to get into the imaginative prayer and you feel like you’re not going or getting anywhere. Resorting to the mindfulness of breathing or metabarvna might be the most constructive thing to do in those situations to keep me there and to keep me meditating. That’s what I mean. 

I have lots of questions. Maybe academic, because I am not soul searching here. I want to know my partner better and to understand where he is coming from. I think that this retreat is doing just that. We are getting to know each other better. 

Leave a Reply